I'm Fighting Back

The enemy comes only to steal our hope and happiness through depression, self condemnation, and many other ways. He comes to kill us by sending his demons to set up things like car accidents, transferred illnesses, suicide attempts, and many more. He comes to destroy our destiny and the things that God has planned for us, but yet some of us so called "christians" sit back and allow the enemy to do these things in our face like it's okay. It's funny to me how we can get mad at people when they are talking about us, family, or friends, and be so ready to fight that person because of words. But when it comes to the devil coming to STEAL, KILL, and DESTROY we act like we don't see it, and let it slide. We don't get mad at him when the word says in Romans 12:9 that we are suppose to "HATE EVIL", and also in Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers and authorities of the dark world, and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavinly realms." So why are we trying to fight people when the true enemy is the DEVIL. My pastor Joshua said something one saturday at encounter that stuck to me a lot. He said that"you should train yourself in the word of God so when the time comes when the enemy attacks you will know what to do because it will be natural because you have trained yourself in the word of God." How do we as warriors for Christ know the attacks of the enemy, and know how to defeat him if we're not in the word. The word of God is our instruction manual, and without it it's like you're going into war and you don't know how to work your gun. Everyone else is shooting at you, and throwing bombs but you're not prepaired to attack because you didn't follow the instructions given, so more likely to die. When you don't follow the instructions that the Father has given you to keep you protected from the attacks of the enemy, you are more likely to die spiritually or naturally. And we always wonder why the enemy keep attacking me? Why don't he bother someone else, it's probably because you let him, and he knows that you're not bold enough to use the authority that God has given you over him and his wicked ways to tell him to let you loose. We have victory over the enemy and anything he brings our way because of Jesus Christ, and the fear of the enemy isn't going to leave until you realize that. We have to begin to hate the devil enough, and trust God enough to fight back. Stop giving the devil more credit then he deserves. Stand up and FIGHT BACK!!!

"Rebel"

What happened to a time when rebelling was doing something bad like running away from home, sneaking out late at night, smoking, drinking, having sex, etc. These days those things seem to be the normal thing to do. It seems like you're not normal if you're not doing anything bad. This is so sad. It's sad to know that every time you look at the news people are dying or going to jail. It's sad to see how many females are walking around pregnant and they're still in highschool. Just hearing the conversations that go on in highschool, all of them are either about what girl they are having sex with, how much weed they smoke, alcohol they drink, how they disrespect every adult figure in there life, etc. The thing that really upsets me is that in order to rebel against the things of the world you have to carry your Bible around, not be disrespectful, not smoke or drink, not have sex, and live by the word of God and not by the standards of the world. God is calling this generation to stand out and rebel against what the world is offering. You can live in the world, but not be apart of what the world is offering. I choose to rebel and go with God. HOW ABOUT YOU???

Follow Instructions

The Holy Spirit has been telling me to clean some of my stuff on my dresser, and i kept putting it off and saying that i will do it later. What i didn't know is that God was trying to get rid of the last signs of lust and sexual perversion in my life, so that i can be completely delivered. Well i finally got around to cleaning up what the Holy Spirit was telling me to clean, and i found some condoms that i forgot that i had. You see i thought i was just cleaning up just because things were a little messy, but obviously the Holy Spirit had different plans. After i had found them, he told me to throw them away. Now you see i didn't feel like there was anything wrong with haveing them, but then the Holy Spirit told me that God has been trying to deliver me completely from lust and sexual perversion and that he couldn't do that if i still had things from my past in my room. He said that the condoms were holding those spirits, and that they gave those spirits access to roam free in my house. You see God will give you instructions, and you may not understand why you are doing it but don't put it off. Do what he says as soon as he tells you, so that you won't have to wait for what he is trying to do through those instructions. So I just encourage you to follow God's, and watch what he's going to do through your obedience.

He Chose Me

He chose me so that they can believe. He chose me to lead them to his sea. His sea is filled with grace and mercy. The farther you swim out, the closer you get to him. Some people are afraid of taking that risk to swim in his sea because they think they are going to drown. They don't realize that he will never let you drown. He may let you go under and struggle for a little while, but he will never allow you to drown. Some people still want to sit on shore and get a tan. He chose me to help them understand that he is not going to wait for them to get ready to send his son back. So i encourage you to take a chance and just put your feet in the water, and see what he does for you. Next thing you know you look back and you are far from the shore, and you promise yourself that you not going back. You may began to get weary, and as soon as you are about to give up, he comes in and saves you. You may struggle, but you realize that it is better to struggle in his mercy and grace then out in the world. Let every form of fear and doubt go, and trust in him and watch what he does in your life.

It's Time to STAND OUT!!!

While we were at Worshipers Arise, God began to do something new in me. He began to shift things inside of me to the point where i couldn't control my body physically. At first i was shocked because i really didn't know what was going on. Then he spoke and told me to let go and let him to take over and change what needed to be changed, so that he can use me like he wants to. God is preparing me spiritually and physically to stand out amungst my peers as an example on how to live the life that is pleasing to him. He is preparing me to be a light in Garner High, and to place an untameable fire in Garner that can never be put out. I can feel the changes that are going on. God is building up leaders for the new generation that he is birthing on this year. He has been building us up and testing us all these years and we didn't even know it. Everything that he has allowed us to go through is what's going to affect this generation so much. The testimonies that he has placed in us is what's going to bring the connection between lifestyle christians and this generation. God didn't allow his leaders to go through pain and suffering just because he can. There was a purpose behind the trials and tribulations. Now is the time where we step up in the boldness that he has placed in us, and not be ashamed of what we have gone through, or where he has brought us from. How many more kids have to die before the leaders that he has called forth step up and take this generation by force??? I know what God has called me to do and I can't stand by and watch the enemy continue to kill God's generation. I'm ready to embrace what God is doing and not be ashamed. I'm ready to STAND OUT!!!

Worshipers Arise

This past weekend Blaz-En (the dance ministry at my church, The Furnace) and I went to this gathering of worship called Worshipers Arise in Virginia. When we got there they were having difficulties with the power, so we began to pray for the power to work and run smoothly. We saw this as just praying for that specific reason, but God was using this time of prayer to set the atmosphere what he wanted to do on that day through Blaz-En. As it was getting closer and closer to the time for us to minister i could feel the presence of God getting thicker and thicker. Before we went on to minister, we came together and prayed. As we were praying God just released a new fire throughout the entire team. It was just so unexpected. The fire that was released was like a fire that he has never been released over us. As we began to minister, i could see the Holy Spirit breaking bondage off of us that were ministering as well as those who were watching. What God did in us just shifted the entire atmosphere. It just completely tipped the glass of his presence. God did something so powerful that they had to stop the entire gathering. Keith Duncan, the founder of Worshipers Arise, had Blaz-En stay at the front, and he called everyone that wanted to be prayed for to the front. He had us go behind the people and pray for them. This is funny because Pastor Joshua said that God was going to take us to a level in him where he would have us to pray for people after we ministered to them. That was no more then a month ago, and now it is manifesting itself. I don't think that any of us expected the manifestation of that prophecy to come this soon, but we are glad that God is using us in such a powerful way and he is just beginning. He is opening so many doors for Blaz-En and The Furnace. He trust us to have wisdom and humility enough to not get big headed with the gift that he has blessed us with.

Testimonies (spreading the good news)

One Saturday my pastor, pastor Joshua, read a scripture (revelations 12:11) and it talked about how "they overcame the enemy by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony." This means to me that we overcome the plans of the enemy by the blood that Jesus shed for us on the cross, and the things that he has delivered us from. We talked about how we take the glory from God when we don't go out telling people what God has done for us and what he has delivered us from. This got me thinking about all the things that God has done for me in my life, and who I've told about what he has done. I haven't told anyone about what he has done because i was ashamed of the things that i used to do, and i placed how people saw me on a higher pedestal then i placed God. So people were my idol god. So i felt that my first blog should be my testimony. Hopefully it will touch hearts, help people realize that they are not alone, and give others the courage to tell their testimony because you never know who you can save because of your testimony.

Weed and Alcohol

Weed and alcohol were big parts in my life. I started smoking weed when i was eleven. It started out as a pressure thing. I wanted to be like all of my friends. I felt like i had to be like them to hang with them. When I knew that i didn't feel right doing it or being around it, i did it anyways because they were doing it. It was crazy because i thought i would just do it every once in a while, and the devil used that door to lead me to addiction. Before i know it i was smoking weed everyday. It got so bad to the point where i would take the lunch money my mom would give me, save it up, and use it to buy weed. No matter how bad i felt about using her, i felt like i needed that high in order to feel good. I realized the impact that weed had on my life. My grades began to fall, i became more rebellious, i began to get in more trouble at school, i always talked down about myself, i talked about other people so they can feel how i felt, my whole personality just turned around completely. I always tried my best to get back to that initial high, but i never could, and when i came back down my problems were still there waiting for me to deal with them. My weed addiction led to the use of alcohol in my life. Usually when we were smoking my friends would bring a couple drinks also, but i always say no to them. Then one day i tried some alcohol, and my flesh liked the combination of the weed and the alcohol. So i continued to drink and drink. I thought i was the coolest in the world because i could hold a lot of liquor not knowing that it could kill my insides. I used to get so drunk to the point where i wouldn't remember anything that happened that night. Even though i never passed out, I would always black out and not remember anything. My friends would come up to me the next day telling me about all the things i did ,and how fun it was, but i wouldn't remember nothing they were saying. This also began to effect my academics. Even when i moved from my friends that i started with i found new friends who smoked and drank and i would be with them all the time. God began healing my body and delivering me from addiction to weed and alcohol around September of 2009. He just began to slowly pull me away from the people who i thought were my friends. He moved me the first time because he wanted me to realize what i was doing, but i still ran back to weed and alcohol. So he was faithful and did it a second time, and this time i realized what i was doing to myself as well as the people around me. As he was removing people, I began to get tired of drinking and smoking all the time. I would get tired of being around it, and the people who had it. Without God's hand in my life who knows where i would be, or doing just to cator to that addiction.

Sexual Immorality

One of the biggest things i dealt with when i was in the world was being addicted to sex, and sexual immorality. I always had a girlfriend, and a couple friends on the side. After me and a girl would break up i would be sure to stay friends with them so that we could keep in touch, and get together whenever I wanted to. I always knew how to get the girl in the bed. I guess you could say i had a way with words. Most of the relationships i was in ended in sex, or sexual activities. Even though i wouldn't brag about it, my head was still big because of how many girls i would juggle at one time. Then there this one time with this girl, we were having sex, and a couple weeks later she told me that she thought she was pregnant because she was late. My heart started pounding, and i started to think about if i was truly ready to be a father. She took the test and it came back negative. God allowed this situation to happen, so that my eyes could be open to what i was doing and the consequences that could take place if i continued with my actions. This is when i decided to give it up and not keep having sex. I knew that if i continued then it probably would've happened again, and it could have been positive.

Self Mutilation

This picture explains what i used to do. Self mutilating was one of the ways that i thought would control my anger, and get rid of my problems. A lot of the time i would do it because i put to much on myself. I would always take on the problems of my friends, and family and i would blame myself for what they were going through, or i would beat myself up because i couldn't do anything to help them. I felt like i had to help everyone that came to me with their problems, and if i couldn't then it would be my fault that they were sad. Another reason is that I would try to live up to other peoples expectations of me instead of living to please myself, and if i couldn't meet the expectations i would be mad at myself, but i continued to try because i wanted to be accepted by everyone. God delivered me from this when one day i found out that one of my friends do it, and i told them that they were stupid for doing it. Then i realized that i was doing the same thing. He taught me how to examine myself and make sure that I'm leading by example before i try to help someone else out. Now i worry more about my problems before other peoples, and i try not to take their problems on as my own. I still find myself doing it, then i remember what he has delivered me from, and just let it go and let God deal with it.